I really really miss her!

Yeah, I know it has been over a year, but I still miss the hell out of her to this day! I just wish I wasn't so STUPID! But, like they say, "You really don't know what you have untill it's gone!" I just know that one day I hope to God that her and me will be back together! If not then what can I say other than the fact that I messed up one of the best things that have happend to me! Like they say,"If something is meant to be it will happen!" I just pray that one day she will see that I'm not the person that I was and I will NEVER be that self made S.O.B. that I was! I swear on the grave of my grandmother that I am better than what I was! Who knows tho what might happen! I just wish I could have a sign! All I can do is keep up my head and just keep moving forward! I mean I want to thank you for being there even tho it was a bunch of bull I put you through, but when you left. That opened my eyes to the person I really was! I HATED MYSELF AND WHAT I HAD BECOME! But the past is the past and if it wasn't for the past I wouldn't be the person I am today! Like I said I just wish that she would come back; however, if she doesn't then I don't blame her! 'Cause I told her time and time again that I would change and I never did! But, a couple of months afterwards I KNOW I DID! Just God Please show me what to do and I will do it! Well later y'all!

I have no idea!!

Today has been a very very very horrible day. I mean where do I began? Well I can frist start off with I can't stand when someone rubs in my face stuff that other people get, yeah I'm happy that my bestfriend got a job and what not but come on people all you have to do is say it once!! Then after that me and my BEAUTIFUL girlfriend get in to this BIG FREAKIN FIGHT, people was getting hit and bit and stuff was thrown at each other, it was just a big mess.Then after that she almost left me which I dont blame her but I'm glad she is still with me. All I know is this days are done! I'm done with fighting, yelling, name calling, and (excuse my language) bitching. All that gets you is a heart break, bruse, and NO WHERE. Other than the bad stuff I cant complain I mean I am still alive and well, I have a beautiful family(that sometimes dosent get along but hey thats just a family), a roof over my head, and food in my stomach. All I know is I can't do it a lone, people tell me that God will help but I dont completely understand that whole concept yet. I mean I want to and I know that there is a God becasue if there wasnt then I wouldnt be here. But I dont know I wish someone could understand me and help me.
Anyway I'm off to bed, Good night world!
LOVE ALWAYS
Kory Isaac Carswell